What's going on??

Something weird has happened to my food. Mum keeps insisting I eat this brown slop stuff. She calls it porridge and tries to persuade me that putting banana in it makes it tasty. It doesn't. But I eat most of it anyway. It's not as if she gives me anything else instead. When I refused to eat it yesterday morning, she just gave it back to me at lunchtime!

That's another thing. I now have at least 3 meals a day - yesterday it was 4! Am I being softened up for something? Or fattened up? Oh my God - are they going to eat me????? It's all a bit worrying. I feel worried. I really do. And also Mum got up early this morning and so did Dad and we all went for a walk before the pub opened. It is Saturday today isn't it? Isn't it? I think so. That doesn't normally happen. I hope nothing bad is going to happen, though the walk was brilliant. It was frosty and I love frost. It tickles my paws.

Something else: yesterday Mum took me out by myself. That doesn't happen very often either. And we got eaten up by this huge terrifying monster! Mum didn't seem concerned at all but I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. It rattled and shook and growled at me. Then it spat us out and we were at this noisy place where people were making lots of clanking noises and then there was our car! I was okay as soon as I got in the car. We went home in the car, which I was very pleased about, because I didn't want to be eaten by the monster again - it appears to be a form of transport but I prefer the car.

In fact, ever since this lady came to visit on Wednesday, things have been weird. I am not convinced. She kept trying to touch my mouth, which I hate, and now Mum keeps trying to touch my mouth. What's that about? I haven't done anything wrong. Mum says I'll be happier when get used to it. Maybe Big Ears is behind it all. He's so bossy. No wonder I get fed up with him.

We had a good game yesterday though - lots of chasing and raaring. Just what I like. And Big Ears didn't get too carried away so it all ended amicably. No chance for our usual wrestling match on the bed this morning, we were up and out so quickly.

Haven't had any slop yet today. Maybe Mum will give me a break from it.

p.s. so far today I have stolen one piece of plastic, a sock and a croc.